Brooke’s Testimony of Christ

January 15, 2017- Testimony Excerpt from letter to Brooke’s mother Sandy Folkman during a serious illness:

“…Sometimes people shouldn’t have to suffer because they are the nicest and most amazing people. Like Aunt Sarah and her family, like dad, like Annie’s (Schmidt) Family, like You. BUTthen again, who suffered and descended below us all? Our Savior Jesus Christ. Who felt all pain, hopelessness, hurt, anger and sadness. BUT after suffering through that, and through being ridiculed and suffering through the cross and the crucifixion, He rose 3 days later in bright light, joy, peace and love. He shouldn’t of suffered, but He did. And He saved us all. He was and is perfect. 

You are perfect in my eyes (Mom). I cannot, literally CANNOT believe how BEAUTIFUL you are!! Especially right now, I don’t know anyone who could go through what you are going through and look as angel-like and beautiful as you. You just absolutely glow!!

…I’m so happy you married such a wonderful man. Daddy is amazing. You guys are the ultimate couple!! He is sooo good to you it’s incredible to watch. And you are to him as well!! Our whole family is just perfect for each other. We all have flaws and hard times and trials and things happen and we go through pain, but together we fit perfectly. I love our family. I love you mommy. So Much!! 

-Love, Brooke

November 1, 2015- The Only One

Did you ever think you were the only one?

The only one who never sees the sun

The only one with a complete loss of hope

Who chooses unhealthy ways to cope

The only one who feels utter despair

And no words spoken even matter anymore

No comfort feels comforting 

You feel lost and wandering

The path seems to be hidden from your eyes

Each morning you wake up and leave your house wearing a disguise

Your smile covers your secret pain and tears

You wish someone could be there so you could share

Share your story, your ups and downs

Share you happiness and your sorrows

Have someone there who could understand

Yet there is no one who seems to want to hold your hand

Your heart is broken, you’re filled with distress

And slowly you begin to feel more and more worthless

The unbearable memories and overpowering thoughts

It feels like you’ve lost all control

To take away these feelings you’d pay any cost

But there is no way to escape these feelings inside

Stuck in your racing mind

It feels as if you’ll never be fine

But no one can know 

It’s your secret to hold

So walk forward you must, that facade of a smile everyday

And the emotional torture and pain goes on

And you think you’ll never find your way

But Stop.

It’s not true.

You’re not the only one

Your secrets can be shared

Each person struggles each day

And I wish I could tell you all your trials will go away

But without difficulties where would you find your success?

Without falling multiple times, you would never have progress

Progress in getting back up

Joy with each time you try

Blessed with the ability to be courageous 

And find beauty in your wonderful life

Don’t give up

Don’t let go

Hope is always there

There are always people who care

Hold on a little longer

Things will get better

Your broken heart will be mended

For below all Christ descended

He suffered through your pains

Physical, Spiritual, Emotional and Mental

He will never let you go

You are beautiful, your life was not accidental

Please let Him hold you

Don’t give up this fight

And yes, it might take all of your might,

But in the end, Joy will be found

You will realize your life is profound

I know this to be true

Because I am a suicide survivor 

I know what it’s like

I’ve been there

And I know at times you’re filled with fear

And each teardrop from your swollen cheeks

Burns with a pain that often you think 

There will be no relief

But turn to Christ

Relief will be given

Comfort will surround
Things will get better

Please, never give up

He Loves You

I Love You

Hold on

Everything has a season

And each season has it’s reason

And every reason will be known

But it’s alright

Because You Are Never Alone

-​Brooke Folkman 

April 8, 2014- Excerpt from The Pamphlet 

“…I think I can finally say after all these years that I do  love myself and everything that comes with. My pains, my heartache, my scars, my brokenness, my mistakes, my shortcomings, my sorrows - the things that I have done and the things that others have done to me. It is all a part of me. And that’s why I Love it. Because I am Brooke Folkman, and I am a daughter of God, of a King. The King of the Universe. And I am His daughter, and He loves me. And he Loves YOU. There is nothing you could ever do to diminish or change his perfect love. The person I am today has been through much, learned much, suffered much, but also felt much Joy. And I would not change a single thing in my life if I thought it would change the person who I am today. This girl inspired me and made me realize our power as human beings to connect with and love one another. The power of words. The power of Love, that even though she had no idea who I was or what I have been through. Even though we had never even talked before. That she could say that she Loved me and tell me that I have worth.  

 We all carry scars along with us in life. Some deeper and more noticeable than others and we don’t only wear physical scars on our bodies, but emotional and mental scars impressed in our souls and in our minds. But no matter how many or how bad the scars are, you are worth more than they ever will be. 

Stay Strong Brooke.

The journey may get rough, you may want to give up, but you can’t. you need to make a difference in this world. and I believe with all my heart that you can. I love you. Your princess soul is inside you, sitting here with you right now. She loves you. She knows God. She knows her Father. You are closer to Him and to her than you think. I can feel her hugging me from the inside. This perfect and beautiful spirit trapped in this fragile body for a short time and one day you and she will be one. Combined together forever and stronger than ever. Live every single moment to the fullest. Do things you love, spend as much time as you can with your family. They are your best friends and love you more than you know. And I love you more than words can express. - Brooke

July 10, 2012- Liahona Experience Excerpt

“…I felt lost, I felt alone, yet once I turned to Christ and used the power of His everlasting Atonement… I was healed. I was comforted, I was blessed, I was not alone, and I felt forgiven. My Savior was there with me, every step of the way. I testify that He knows you individually. He knows your pains and sorrows, and he understands you more deeply than anyone else ever could. He is your source of comfort and light. My favorite song lyrics are: “Pray, He is there. Speak, He is listening. You are His child, His love now surrounds you. He hears your prayers, He loves the children.” I know that this song is mainly about Heavenly Father, but I deeply testify and know that they are just as valid and true for Jesus Christ, our Savior as well. If you or I or anyone in this world reaches out their hand, He will be there and He will take it. I say these things in the Name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

September 23, 2012- Brooke’s Testimony of Christ (Given in Sacrament Meeting)

You are never alone. Through your pain, through your heartache, through your losses, through your tears, there is always someone there, holding your hand, trying to buoy you up if you will only let Him. Jesus Christ is there. He will comfort you, He will help you, and He will rescue you from the dark abyss of anguish and endless pain. I don’t just believe this, but I KNOW this, and I know because I have experienced it. When you think no one else knows what you’re going through, when you think that you are completely lost and alone, when you feel there is no escape, you’re wrong. Your Savior is right beside you, you just need to open your eyes and see it. One of my favorite quotes states, “We talk in great generalities about the sins of all humankind, about the suffering of the entire human family, but we don’t experience pain in generalities, we experience it individually. There is nothing (you) have experienced that He does not also know and recognize. On a profound level, he understands (all you go through). His last recorded words to his disciples were, ‘And, lo, I am with you always, even unto the end of the world.’ (Matt 28:20) He’s not waiting for us to be perfect. Perfect people don’t need a savior. He came to save His people in their imperfections. He’s not embarrassed by us, angry at us, or shocked. He wants us in our brokenness, in our unhappiness, in our guilt and our grief. We need Him, and He is ready to come to us, if we’ll open the door and let Him in.” 

One of the greatest things that we can come to realize and know in our earth life is that He suffered the Atonement for us. Often people just refer to the Atonement as Him suffering for our sins, but I know it to be more than that. I know the Atonement to be a time when our brother, Jesus Christ, experienced all we will experience, which means not only our mistakes but if we experience sadness, loneliness, broken-heartedness, or extreme pain, He knows that, often better than anyone else around you. Jeffery R. Holland says “Considering the incomprehensible cost of the crucifixion and the Atonement, I promise you He is not going to turn His back on us now. When he says to the poor in spirit, ‘Come unto me’, He means He knows the way out and He knows the way up. He knows it because He has walked it. He knows the way because He IS the way.” Not only does He know it, but because He knows it He will help us with anything and everything we go through. He will send His love and His comfort.

For those who were at Girls camp, you have heard this testimony of mine before. The events I am about to share have helped me come to know my Savior and His love for me and for all His children. I can’t help but let this congregation and even this world hear what I know to be true, and what all of us can and should know to be true as well. Most of you know that I left for a couple of months before summer break. I was, in fact, in Utah and was placed into a wilderness program there. For the next two months I would be backpacking, rock-climbing, hiking, mountain biking, and rappelling. Many times, during those 2 months I felt lost, alone, and afraid. I couldn’t talk to my family except through letters, I was in a group of total strangers, and I was the only LDS girl there. I felt that no one could come to know or understand the pain and anguish I was going through, yet I was wrong. Jesus Christ was there for me every step of the way, and I felt him buoy me up on many occasions. Signs of His love and support for me were all around. So many miracles occurred. One of the most prominent signs of him being there for me were the hummingbirds. The first day I was there a beautiful hummingbird flew by me, and as I saw it I closed my eyes and said a prayer in my heart, the hummingbird was now a sign that He was there for me, watching out for me, and that every time I saw one I could feel comforted and know that it would all be okay. Every day for the next 2 months I saw a hummingbird and felt the love and comfort of my Savior without fail. And some days when nighttime started to fall upon me and I hadn’t seen one yet, I would feel sad and discouraged, and just as these thoughts entered my mind, one would fly by. Some days I saw multiple hummingbirds, other days only one, but they were always there, and always coming in times of need. 

I would like to end by bearing my testimony that I know our Savior is always aware of us, that He knows what we’re going through, and that He loves you and will comfort you. I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

Quote on first page of the talk- “We sometimes pray for miracles but really, we should be praying for a greater faith, for courage, for strength, and for comfort and support. Because although miracles will not always come, the Holy Ghost will always come to comfort us and buoy us up.” President Hinckley (?)

 Quote at the end of the talk- “If life gets too hard to Stand, Kneel” President Hinckley.

July 5, 2012 -LeTTER FROM GOD

Dearest Brooke,

 No mistake is too much to repent of or be forgiven of. I Love You and I know who you really are. Life is hard, we all mess up, yet I gave My Only Begotten so that when you do mess up, you can repent and be made pure through His Atonement. I have forgiven you, I pray that you will find the courage to move on and forgive yourself. Remember all you have learned, but don’t let it hold you back. You have the light of Christ. Share it, be an example. Arise and Shine Forth

Love,

Your Heavenly Father

June 18, 2010 -Testimony (EFY)

Mosiah 14 & 15 chapters

I would like to write down my testimony, so that as I look back on it when trials come my way, I will realize that the church will be just as true then as it is now. I bear my testimony that I know this church is true, and that the atonement is a real event that took place and an event that we need to use in our daily lives to repent and be forgiven. Our brother, Jesus Christ, made it possible for us to live with him and our father in heaven through this atonement. As our brother and our savior, kneeling willingly down to the ground and being left completely and utterly alone. Drops of blood from every pore of his body for us and going lower than the lowest. Being taken by mean soldiers who whipped him, spat on him, mocked him, and put a crown of thorns upon his head. 

How could someone so perfect go through this, when all he ever tried to do was save us. After all of this he was forced to carry his own cross till he fell to the ground and could no more. Then he was taken to a hill and had his hands and feet nailed to this cross and he was hung up to die. The most perfect, loving person ever to walk the earth, went through this because he loved us. Because he was merciful and wanted to give us another chance. And every time I sin and feel so horrid after, I think of our brother suffering for me, because of his great love. And thinking how horrible I feel after I sin, then thinking that times billions. He took on all sins of all the world, and it was all for you and me. With His stripes and pain we are healed. I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ. Amen. 

May 16, 2010- Brooke’s Church Talk

Moving to California was not easy. I felt alone, I was scared, and I thought that the feeling of HOME would never again come to my pained heart. I knew what I had always been taught, that the Lord was always with me, yet at that moment, I rejected it. I didn’t accept the fact that He was there and I was not alone, and for that that I suffered more than needed.

 Everyone in Cali was so nice to me, and so welcoming, yet all strangers, and I simply did what a teenager might do, I would not truly accept the friendship others gave me, I shut them out. And I did not accept the actual fact that Cali was my home. By not accepting this, I grew further and further away from friends, family, but most of all from God. I did not like this feeling, but I was scared to make new best friends. My parents tried hard to make me happy here, took our family to do fun things and I was happy then, but the happiness was only temporary and so I would find myself crying in the silence of a small, unwelcoming room. This is how it was until one day something happened that changed my whole outlook on everything. This thing was The Living Christ. I had memorized it a while back and as I rehearsed it in my head, over and over, I felt warmth enter my cold, alone heart. A warmth that only the spirit of God could bring. I felt as though I had been blind this whole time and suddenly opened my eyes and saw the world in front of me as it was. 

I would now like to quote the Living Christ….

Living Christ

As I realized all the many things our Savior did for Us, my heavy burden suddenly felt light. Tears came to my eyes as I now understood the real definition of Alone, and I suddenly felt no connection to the word. I have friends, a wonderful family, a warm bed, I have Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ always there, ready to raise me up at any moment if all I do is ask. But where were all of these things for our Savior when he suffered in Gethsemane, when his friend fell asleep on him. Where were these things when our brother, our Lord, even so Jesus Christ, bled from every pore of his body, literally sweat out blood because of me? This great burden he took on willingly for us. Where were these things when His people forsook him and held greater respect for a criminal? Where were His friends and family and bed when he was whipped, beaten, stripped of his fine clothing and mocked? Where were these things when He had thorns pushed into his head and when he was spat upon? Where were they when he was nailed to a cross and hung to die? 

And yet through all of this, no complaint. How could someone so perfect and so powerful allow these things to be done unto him? How could our brother be so Alone? The answer is because He loved us unconditionally, because He never wanted us to go through such darkness and be as utterly Alone as he was.

I would like to end with my testimony that we are not alone. There is a God and he is by our side every step of the way, to pick us up when we stumble. He will never forsake us. I bear testimony that He loves us, our Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ (our heavenly brother) both love us, and I love them. In the loneliest of times, all you have to do is pray and without a doubt, He will answer. I would like to end by sharing a concept that has been hard for me to grasp, and this concept is how important this gospel is to me in my life. And I would like to say that I would die for this gospel and that I will live for it also. I will not only think this in my thoughts but will show it through my actions. In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

Fall 2009- Church Talk

When I moved to CA, it was not easy. I felt alone, I was scared, and I knew not when the feeling of HOME would return gain to my pained heart. 

I knew what I had been taught, that the Lord was always with me, but yet in that moment, I rejected it. I did not accept the facts, and for that I suffered more than needed.

People in CA were very nice, very welcoming, but it was not the same. Different faces would appear each time I went to church, strangers would come and talk to me, it was nice to know someone cared, but then I did not accept anyone's friendship. I closed out the idea and the actual fact that my home was CA, and I only focused on how I would get back to Utah. Every day negative thoughts filled my head, things one should not think. And this drew me further and further away from people in CA, from my family, but most of all, From God. I felt as though it I made friends in CA, I would be rejecting my friendships in Utah, and I was scared to have a new best friend.

As the months went on, and my family got settled in, my parents tried now very hard to make me happy with where I was in life, they would take us to the beach to movies, tell me to invite other friends, but still everything I did, I did without my consent. 

Day after day, night after night I would find myself crying in the silence of a small, unwelcoming room. Until one day something changed my life, something unexpected, something that may seem small but to me it was very, very big. This thing was The Living Christ. I had memorized the Living Christ a while back, and still remembered it, as I rehearsed it over and over again, I felt a warmth enter my cold, alone heart. A warmth only the Spirit of God could bring me. I felt as if my eyes had just been opened to the world in front of me, it felt as though I had just awoken from a deep, dark dream. I would now like to quote The Living Christ to you:

​​​Recite: THE LIVING CHRIST

As I realized all of the many things in it that told of what the Savior did for us, my heavy burden suddenly felt light. Tears came to my eyes as I read and reread this testimony of our prophets. I thought in amazement of what alone really was, and I knew then, that I was certainly not qualified to the word. I have friends all around me, family, a home, a warm bed, I had God. Where were these things for our Savior when he bled from every pore willingly for us. Where were these things for the Lamb of God when He was tried before his own people and forsaken. Where were these things when he was whipped and had a crown of thorns put upon His head, when He was mocked, when he was spat upon and when he was crucified? How could someone so perfect and powerful allow these things to be done unto him? How could our brother be so alone? The answer is because he loved us, the answer is because he never wanted us to go through what he did, He never wanted us to feel that loneliness. 

​So now I bear my testimony that we are not alone, there is a God and He is with us everywhere and every step of the way. He will never forsake us. And I bear testimony that He loves us, and I love him, and that in the most lonely times all you have to do is pray and that He will carry us. I say these things in the loving name of Jesus Christ Amen.

July 2009

I would like to bear my testimony that I know we are all choice daughters of Heavenly Father. He loves us all the same. Because they love us so much, they made us pathways to follow and made a plan for us. Sometimes that plan has twists and turns, things that might scare us… Things were not sure about, we will come across trials that may seem impossible to overcome. And without the Lord’s help they are impossible. So we must let him into our lives. He gave us the Holy Ghost that will help us know what is good for us, what is coming and what we might need to know. But as long as we have faith and trust and the courage to not only listen but to follow the Holy Ghost, we will make it home. I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen. 

Summer 2009- Excerpt from a Letter To Dad

“…I have felt so alone at times, that I did not know where to turn. I did not know which path to take, and honestly, no offense or anything, I did not know if I, Brooke Folkman, were truly loved or accepted by anyone. I have come to find that the Lord will not forsake us, He is always there for us. He loves us eternally and is quick to forgive and very, very, slow to judge. Our Heavenly Father, and Christ are always there for us, even in the darkest ditches that seemed nothing could help us escape, He can, and you can bet that He will. We are quite frankly lost without Him, and He knows that we can be stubborn, and try to force ourselves to honestly believe that no one was there or is here for us, this is Satan, and Satan only. When we believe this we are forcing ourselves to believe a lie. I was taught to never lie, so why try and lie to ourselves about the most obvious thing possible, and that is true. 

He loved us, and we are nothing without Him and His forgiveness.

The Atonement is one of; actually, it is the most important thing to take place on this Earth; and because of the Atonement, we can repent, and He will forgive us. Never think of it as too late, or that you have made that mistake too many times, because, may I remind you, we are only human. I make mistakes every day, and repent with the hope of being a better person the next; and the outcome is, I make that same mistake the next day, or a different one. And yet, He is there reaching out to me, asking, but not ordering me, to take His loving, caring hand. This is where I want to share another experience that I had with you…

(Christ’s Hand Reaching Out to Brooke)

I was in my bedroom (the one in the basement) and I had just switched rooms, Rachel was still in West Ridge, and I has having a bad day. I felt completely alone, that no one was there for me, that I was really forsaken and forgotten. It was not you guys fault that you had to spend so much time away from home dealing with things that had befallen us. So it was alone, and I felt and made myself believe the worst possible lie that I ever could , or that anyone ever could. And that lie is that you are alone, and no one is there for you. Well, just as I was feeling this, I walked into my closet to change into more relaxing clothes, and when I walked in/ of course, there was a picture of Jesus, of My Christ, and My Savior, sitting there on my closet shelf. And I immediately felt comfort, but what is truly more amazing, is that I knew I was not alone in that room. Know what I tell you right now, I am not completely one hundred percent on, but I am one thousand percent sure on. When I looked at that picture of Jesus, just His Face, no hand in the picture, or anything else; I saw a hand reaching out to me, it was most likely not the real hand of God, but possibly and Angel, sent to me to help me, in place of God, just like the elves do for Santa each Christmas I saw a hand reaching out for me dad. And I reached out to take it that day, and since then I have never doubted that He is there. I have felt alone at times but not entirely alone. 

Love, Brooke Folkman, Your Eternally Grateful Daughter

April 2, 2007 

Today after school, me and my sisters and mom went on a walk. My dad was at our cabin in Timber Lakes. While we were on our walk I felt like my sisters didn’t like or love me. We had got in an argument earlier on and now they were ignoring and being rude to me. I came home still feeling put down. After we had strawberry shortcake for a Family Home Evening treat. I sat on a couch and prayed. I asked God if there was a message He needed me to know or any words I needed to hear. I ended my prayer and said The Living Christ from memory. We had memorized it for school a few weeks before and I wanted to remember it, so I say it regularly. This time I felt the spirit strongly. After I had finished saying the last sentence of it, “God be thanked for the matchless gift of His divine Son.” I felt like crying, but I didn’t. I saw my Mom’s scriptures on the table in the middle of our family room. I felt the feeling to pick them up, open them, close my eyes and point to a verse. So I slowly picked them up and did just that. Open them, close my eyes and point to a verse. I slowly opened my eyes and saw the most beautiful verse ever and had the most strong feeling of inspiration come over me. I read it again and again. Then I shared it with my Mom. It was 1 Corinthians 16:13-14,“Watch ye, stand fast in the faith, quit you like men, be strong. Let all your things be done with charity.” I had truly had a feeling that that was the message God was trying to get to me. I’m so glad I opened to that scripture because now I feel comfort knowing that someone is always there when I feel like no one loves me. Somebody really does care and will never desert me when I need Him. I know I can always turn to The Lord and scriptures when I feel alone and say a poem like The Living Christ. I know someone is always there for me when no one else is. Jesus is always reaching out for us no matter how far we stray. If we turn to The Lord and obey His commandments anything is possible. Even being perfect. Which is what we’re all striving to get to. I Love The Lord and don’t know what I would ever do without Him.