Sitting with Grief Poem- Brett

I finished a book on grief during a long flight, the author stated "Grief is like manure, if you spread it out it fertilizes, if you leave it in a big pile it smells like crap." So - here's some spreading - thank you for grieving with us and allowing us to be vulnerable like our lovely Brooke.

Sitting with Grief 7/17/18
Long late night flight, time to think and grieve, time slows and I feel all alone, isolated in my pain, tears silently emerge, coursing down my crimson cheeks, no bother, let the sorrow drain from my soul, just sit with your grief, embrace it, that’s what they say, but how do you just sit when your heart has been ripped wide open, how do you just sit with your grief when hot searing shafts of pain relentlessly stab at what’s left of your heart, how do you just sit when grief feels like a consuming fire burning you to ashes, how do you just sit with grief when you ache so deep to just hold your daughter again, to feel her warmth, to feel the pulsing of her perfect beating heart, to have her warm sweet breath gently caress your neck as you hold her tight, as you whisper, I love you sweet Brooke, daddy loves his little angel, to feel the depth and grandeur of her spirit emanating from her flesh, she feels so safe in my arms, she whispers back, I love you daddy, she doesn’t pull away, I rock gently back and forth with her in my embrace, just feeling the love engulf my sweet Brooke and I, this was my daily ritual with my Brooke, our long hugs, I’d whisper sweet things into her ear, she’d reciprocate, I’d whisper of God’s love, of Christ’s love, she’d say, I know daddy, thank you daddy for this and that, mostly trivial things of the day, a new toy for Indie, gas for her car, dinner for she and Guich, Brooke was so grateful for everything, when we’d hug, she’d always apologize for the smallest of things that she thought might annoy me, sorry daddy, I’d laugh and say no worries my angel, I’m not annoyed at all, Brooke is so tender hearted, she never wanted to hurt Sandy or I, especially Sandy, it always pained her to see her mommy suffer, Brooke’s empathy for suffering was so deep, because she suffered so deeply, but she’s suffering no more, Christ’s perfect atonement Brooke new intimately, she relied on her Savior to carry her in this life, Christ literally carried her through unwanted mental health challenges, horrific abuse, significant injustice, numbing addiction, her mortal journey took her through the valley of death and beyond many times, but she never lost sight of her redeemer, and now, she’s redeemed, now I need to learn from my angel Brooke, I need to look to my Savior to carry me through my grief and pain, she blazed the path, she showed me the way to rely on Christ to carry me through this mortal journey, a blink of an eye in eternity, I feel my Brooke guiding and comforting me now, my tears now dry, sweet memories of Brooke fill my soul, I reach towards my Savior and he encircles me about in the arms of his love, I surrender my grief and pain to him, I can’t comprehend it, but he compassionately sooths my aching soul, he brings solace to my broken heart, I know him, he’s no stranger, I welcome his healing embrace, he whispers into my ear, I love you, I feel my pain slip silently away, I feel him rocking me back and forth, I feel so safe in his embrace, I thank my Savior for his atoning sacrifice, for redeeming me from sin, for releasing my Brooke from her mortal suffering and pain, for knowing that his eternal sacrifice made possible that I’ll be with my Brooke again, for revealing her mortal journey was complete, tears silently run free, coursing down my crimson face, no longer alone, my Savior comforts me, the sorrow now drained from my soul, the new tears fill my soul with the peace that passeth all understanding, Christ’s perfect grace, peace and joy consume me, gratitude overflows it’s bounds, gratitude for my sweet angel wife, Sandy, gratitude for being sealed to her for time and all eternity in God’s holy temple, for being blessed with four lovely, amazing, talented daughters, for my new sons and grandson, for a sure knowledge that this mortal life is just a dot in our eternal existence, I know my Brooke lives on, I feel her spirit comforting me, I’m humbled, I’m in awe, I will forever praise my Heavenly Father and Mother and their perfect Son, Jesus Christ – I long to keep this feeling!! Yet I know that’s not how mortality works, so I’ll treasure this sweet experience and remember it often, they say to just sit with your grief, to embrace it, and you know what, they’re right, for that’s when God can work a miracle in your soul! So the grief cycle continues, pain, suffering, comfort, healing, joy, repeat – a microcosm of mortality.

“I know my

Brooke lives on”

American Fork Canyon, UT